Bikini Sale

Today was the One day sale at my favorite clothing store. I received a coupon for an additional 15% off the already reduced priced swimwear purchased before noon today.  I convinced myself that I could find the perfect suit during my one hour lunch break.

 Eleven o’clock, I clock out.  I grabbed my essentials: wallet, keys and cell phone and jogged to the car.  Then I drove like mad to the mall. Inside the store, I looked at the time on my phone, 11:10. With haste I make my way to the swimwear. I am surprised to see all the bikini tops on one rack and five feet away all the bottoms were on two different racks. I surveyed the tops.  Took five I liked the best.  Then I scurried to find matching bottoms.   First rack, no matching bottoms to the tops in my hand. Second rack, I find a few bottoms.  Desperate I go into the dressing room. Suit one, bottoms are torn. Suit two bottoms are way too small.  Suit three bottoms ok but top is too small. Agh! I want to scream, but instead I get dressed and go back to the racks. Beep! I receive a text message, time is 11:25.  I ignore the text message.

Back at the racks I grab more tops and bottoms. In the dressing room one by one each suit I put on is a failure. I am almost in tears. Beep! I receive another text message.   I continue to ignore the phone.  I put on the last suit still hanging. To my amazement the black halter top and full bikini bottom fits amazingly.  I get dressed.  At the register I hand the suit to the cashier. The sales associate rings up the $126 suit, but I tell her I have a coupon. I begin to look for the coupon in my wallet.  Finally I find it folded behind my license. I hand it to her.  The total is now $44.10. Beep! Another text received.  Time is 11:45. I reach for my debt card but I can’t find it.  I start taking out all membership, discount and business cards. Now the associate is just looking at me.  Beep! A text marked urgent.  I finally open the text, “You dropped your debt card on the way out of the office. Please hurry back.” I tell the sales woman I have left my card and she kindly responds, “No holds on sale items and your coupon will expire in ten minutes.”

Drug Rehab

I am dedicating this post to a friend of mine in rehab. I watched the news and learned of another famous person who has been sentenced to rehab. It breaks my heart that so many wonderful, creative and beautiful people are fighting addiction.

What hurts me the most is that the addicts themselves don’t see their own potential and in many cases end up dying in overdose, suicide or engaging in risky behavior.  I wrote earlier on this blog about pain. There was a day when nothing would take away the pain of back spasms.  I finally reached for alcohol hoping that it would knock me out. That was after a pain shot, pain pills and radio wave physically therapy treatment.  I was lucky because the next day my pain dissipated.  Yet, I could think about was if the pain my friend was suffering was like my pain was the day before.  Was their pain physical, emotional or both..  Could my  friend’s suffering hurt so much that no matter what they did the pain never vanishes?

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Rejection

“What’s wrong?”

“I got rejected again. The bastards didn’t even read my script.”  She began to cry.

“Don’t cry.  I love you. Please don’t cry.”

“I can’t stop. I’ve worked my ass off for this script; just have the agent send me an email that doesn’t even pertain to my script.”  She cries harder. “They won’t f****n give me a chance!”

“Why do you let them upset you so much?”

“I don’t know.  I’d guess because I’ve wanted this more than anything in the world.”

“You’re seeking validation.  Listen, I’ll love you even if you never get published. I always have.”

“It’s not the rejection that pissed me off.  It was the fact the agent didn’t reference my plot, characters or genre; instead, she just said my script was full of errors.  That it was full of typos.”

“What are you going to do?”

“I’m going to finish my beer, cry about it for about a week and start over.”

“You have everything anyone could want.  Why don’t you just give-up?”

“Because getting published is the one thing I’ve wanted for so long.”

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The Newspaper Theft

When Vern pulled up to the house her father was standing at the doorway. She gathered the box of donuts, coffee and juice and hurried through the door so the rain would not soak her or the groceries.

“Give it to me.”

“Give me a sec. Here take these while I put the juice up.”

“Where is it?”

“Where’s what?”

“My blasted paper!”

“They ran out because of the hurricane they said they won’t be getting anymore.”

“Then go somewhere else.”

“Are you kidding me?  It is raining and flooding all around, yet you want me to risk my life for a newspaper.  How about you use the internet to read the news like everyone else in this century?”

“Take it from your neighbor.”

“No!”

“Why? You don’t even like her.”

“So, that doesn’t give me the right to steal her newspaper.”

“Yes, yes it does.  Look here.  This is an opportunity.  She will never know it was you. She’ll think the rain washed it away, plus she deserves it.”

“Grow up, here’s your coffee. Now go watch TV or use the computer.”

“No, I’m a war veteran.  I deserve that newspaper and you are going to get it.”

“If you want it so bad, then you go. I’ll blame it on insanity.”

“I just might.”  He put on his robe and boots.  Standing at the doorway he said, “Remember how she told you she didn’t want you to ever talk to her?”  Then he cleared his throat. “Remember how her friends parked on your flowerbeds last weekend?”

“Damn it! Fine I’ll take the freakn paper, but I’m not doing it for you.  It is revenge for my flowers.”

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The day the squirrels took over

I awoke to the sound of the squirrels running across my roof, “Thump, thump, thump.”  I laid in bed attempting to fall back to sleep when I begin to hear the sounds of helicopters, “whatta-taa-taa, whatta-taa-taa,whatta-taa-taa!”   I got out of bed because I could not take the noises any longer.  I’ve always been pretty darn compassionate to those squirrels, but this Saturday morning I had had it.

I poked my head out the door and everything looked normal.  Ok, I must be imagining.  I get dressed and walk to the donut shop.  I notice a very large hole in the street, but I ignore it. It must be normal maintenance.

I notice the donut shop is empty. Hmm, there is not one person around. Yet, there are warm donuts everywhere, even cups full of coffee. I wait at the register for a moment and then realize that maybe everyone is gone for a purpose, but what ever that purpose was they forgot to take their food.  No reason for waste.  I grabbed a box from the counter and begin to carefully place the donuts ( of course only the ones not eaten off of ) from the plates in my box. I then place a dollar on the counter for a fresh cup of coffee. 

On the way home I am startled by a squirrel standing on a cop car.  I look at him with tenderness. I toss half a donut to him.  He takes the donut and scurries off.  I pass by the large hole in the street when I hear whimpering.  It sounds like a child or dog has fallen below.  I look in the hole and to my horror, there are people tied up with their mouths taped shut looking back at me.  Terrified, I ran back home with my donuts and coffee.

Sitting at the table Sam turns on the television, but there is only static. “Squirrels! Dab-nab it!”

Now back outside Sam finds a military formation of the little fluffy tailed critters in my backyard. “What in the dibbens name are you guys doing?”

“It’s a revolution!”

“You talk?”

“Yes, we are aliens from another planet, but over time we forgotten our heritage and language.  Today our mothership has arrived with our knowledge. We like you Sam.  You have always fed us.  We’ll do no harm to you.”

“All right, but what about the hole with the people in it?”

“We are gathering the people to send them to another universe.  We are tired of being mistreated, neglected, our homes torn down and injured by your kind.  The mothership has landed to take them away to allow a peaceful place for us to live.”

“That’s not very kind. I understand that you have had some difficult dealing with humans, but you should communicate with them.  Let’m know how you feel.  I bet you could come to a decent agreement.  In that agreement, you should add that I can have free donuts and coffee every Saturday.”

“You’re right Sam. We’ll go but will you come with us?”

“No, my coffee is getting cold. Oh, you need to fix my cable while you are at it.”

The squirrels ended up releasing all the people stuck in the hole.  They were granted the ability to live in peace and harmony in the town with the humans. Every Saturday after Sam enjoyed his free donuts with fresh coffee at the table watching his cable television.

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Humorous things people say in a fabric stores

I took my best friend fabric shopping. She is not a seamstress, nor has she ever bought fabric before. I explain to her how I am looking for fabric to make a blouse for this blog. I realize she is very unfamiliar with purchasing sewing items, so I verbally explain myself as I walk around the store. To my amazement some very humorous statements, puns and words fell from my lips like:
1. I need filling for my cock ( fluffy stuff to put in the fabric chicken I made in earlier post)
2. I need binding
3. Hold the bolt (bolt of fabric)
4. Grab the needles
6. Can I make pants with liquid thread?
If I make pants with glue what do you call it when the seam comes apart? A rip, tear, or non-adhesive
7. Small needles keep your stitches tight and small
8. Get the interfacing
9. She needs to measure it with a yardstick
10. This fabric is so pretty. What could I use it for?

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Carnival

The carnival is closed. The rides are off, concession stands closed and there is a small group of camping trailers. Over the morning hours you begin to notice a man or woman walking about. I stopped two men walking. They are both wearing jeans and green t-shirts with work boots. The man smiles at me. Can I ask you a few questions? He nods his head in agreement with a smile, but says nothing.
Do you work for the carnival?
Yes

How long is carnival season?
We work all year.

How long are you at one place?
One week

Where did you start working?
I started on the rides

Is there a rank system or order of jobs?
No

What is the post popular food?
funnel cake

What not to eat before you ride the rides?
Nothing, don’ t eat nothing.

Are the people you work with your family or friends?
Friends

Is your job fun?
Yes, yes my job is lots of fun. My boss is very good to me.

Then the man was led off by his friend. I wanted to ask more questions, but to him and his friend the interview was over.

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Rodeo Clown

The reporter had been at the rodeo all weekend. After the Sunday performance he finished his last interview with Hank, the champion bull rider.
“Hank congratulations on your winnings. I think this interview will air on the ten o’clock news.”
“Good, I’ll have to text mom and family.” He stood up to walk away.
“Hank, off the record; can you tell me the story about the rodeo clown with the two tears on his face?”
“It ain’t my place.”
“I understand. It is just that I’ve never seen that man talk all weekend. Is he handicapped?”
“J.R. is the smartest cowboy around. He was good friends and used to rodeo with my daddy. Damn near made billions. He’s still got millions. He just don’t want be alone.”
“Did he get cancer or was he In an accident?”
“Na, he just don’t want to talk anymore. Those two tears he has tattooed on him cheeks is to remind him of his wife and son. J.R. was away on a fancy business trip. His wife was his high school sweetheart. They kept trying to have a baby. Couple years ago she got pregnant in her forties. She was scared to fly, so he went alone. While he was gone a twister come from nowhere and leveled the house. His wife and baby boy died. He quit his business, joined the rodeo and never talked since.”

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Fake

Many things in our daily lives are fake like; flowers, fruit, paintings, jewelry, silver, gold and even people. The picture of the fake pumpkins remind us why we sometimes purchase fake items or worse choose to act fake. Fake is not always a bad thing. Fake items tend to last longer, look more appealing, not have flaws, they do not tarnish or age and sometimes fake can protect. Being fake as a human can protect you from exposing the flaws that make you, you. Society tells us that are flaws or individual qualities that make us undoubtedly individual. Yet, they also tend to make us less appealing.

I have to be true and divulged that my post are honest and not fake. While some of my writings might be more how-to it is not that I am being fake. My craft projects are very important to me because they allow me to create and produce without words. A creative person finds new energies by using new mediums like; paint, food, scripting, drawings, crafts, gardening, sewing and more. I hope you too can enjoy all my postings even my how-tos.

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Creating a stuffed chicken in fall fabrics

How to create a stuffed chicken using Martha Stewart’s Encyclopedia of Sewing and Fabric Crafts book with CD.  Follow directions on page 96.

1. Gather sewing supplies to include fabric, scissors, thread, beans and fill.

2. Print the pattern for the Felted Chicken from the CD and cut it out.

3. Pin pattern to felted wool as instructions recommend or to any fabric you choose and cut it out.  Then flip the pattern the other direction and cut out the pattern again.  This will give you two different sides of the chicken, a mirror image.

4. Stitch the two sides of chicken to the edge of the underbelly piece.

5. Pin the wattle and comb to chicken body with fabric facing inward and stitch

6. Stitch wing top to the bottom, so you have two complete wings.

7. Turn the chicken right-side out and stitch on wings. 

8. Using extra fabric create a bag for the beans and place inside the chicken to weight and balance it. Next add fill inside the chicken around the bag of beans to prevent lumps.

9.  Last slipstitch the opening closed. 

Overall this project was simple. I loved the colors of fabric I chose.  Martha Stewart’s book suggested using an a machine-felted cable-knit sweater. I used simple quilting squares sold at the fabric store for $1.99.  One square was enough fabric to make one chicken, so the project was very inexpensive.  Thank you Martha Stewart for another amazing project!