Time to be me again

20160507_095654They always say if you want to see yourself in the eyes of others take a video. Well, this morning I took my first interview video for a new job. The job entails teaching people how to paint or create art. I was ecstatic when I got the request for the video.


I hung all my paintings in my spare bedroom and lined the extra paintings along the bottom of the wall. The display was beautiful. The colors were bright. The images are crisp. Most of the paintings are children’s illustrations with a dog, or child or both. The art I saw was above the level of creativity that I felt I could ever do.


Then in my black slim leggings, yellow t-shirt, tennis shoes and my painting sweater I stood in front and center of my art holding two of my children’s books. My son standing with my cellphone gave me the signal to speak. The first video was full of “ums…” The second was full of “likes…” Then the third video, I calmed down and spoke honestly about my craft. I told about my books. I went over my watercolor paintings and then I explained the slow progression of my oil paintings. The video was complete, simple and well thought.


The problem? I was boring. I was a simple woman in a simple sweater coat. My hair was simple. My makeup was simple. I was simply simple. I remember back in the days when I was anything but simple. I was full of cheer, loud, colorful, energetic, expressive and nothing like the woman explaining the wonderful and colorful art on display. Now, I see my heart and soul displayed on the walls, I wonder if somewhere I lost my soul inside me. Is my spirit broken or is this a phase? I think back to the days of where anything would go and how fresh, fun and energetic I felt. I want that feeling again. I want to be a reflection of the art hanging on the walls. I want to be colorful, crazy and fun. I enjoy the comfort of normalcy but I am I don’t want the dull, boring, nervous, and quiet soul from that video. I want to be more. I want to be me.



Best Friend For Christmas

I am super excited to announce the release of, Best Friend For Christmas. It is the first book to the series of tales of Promise and Snow-po.

Best-Friend-for-Christmas-CoverTo purchase or preview a copy at Amazon click here.


Promise and Snow-po

I am excited to announce my first children’s book called ‘Promise and Snow-po.’  It will be a series. I have another one soon to publish and am currently working on one. These books are about a small boy named Promise and his little dog Snow-po. I hope you have the chance to download or order one. The watercolor illustrations are bright and beautiful.




Don’t forget to purchase a print, pillow, t-shirt, bag or more of an image from your favorite new book Promise and Snow-po at:








What I learned from a marathon of Entourage on HBO

wallpaper-s8-1600The past week, my husband and I spent our entire time cuddled on the couch watching back to back episodes of Entourage.  I am talking all eight seasons. It was easy for the both of us to get caught up in the show, because we never heard of the show before the movie.  The show definitely sucked us right in.

As a couple, we both understood how Ari could simply take his wife for granted. It is hard to balance family life with work.

We also loved the way Ari built, clawed, fought and negotiated strategy to get to the top of agents. Ari did not have the best ethics, but he worked hard and never let “no” stop him for getting what he wanted.

Finances of the star Vince and his friends pretty much sums up life. Money comes and money goes. It seems like there is never enough and when you have it life is a hell of a lot better than when you don’t.

My husband enjoyed the negotiations and strategy throughout the show along with the wide variety of tits, asses, hot girls, hot cars and the appearances of real directors, writers, studio executives and actors.  For me, my favorite part was the writing. I enjoyed the dialogue. I thought it was a well written show. I enjoyed how scripts were evaluated on the show. I have always dreamed of being a writer, even with the frustration of Final Draft software. I know what I want to write. I know what I like to write about. I even know my limitations on what I can and cannot write.  It never really occurred to me that all that shit doesn’t really matter. What really matters is what the audience of movies and television want.

In reality I could write the best movie ever about a cat that can crotchet small hats to be sold on Etsy, but in reality no matter how well that script or novel is written not many are going to pay a dollar to read or see it.

I just want to tell the casts, directors, and writers of  “Entourage” thank you. Thank you for letting me to finally understand the business. If it was not for me sitting on my sofa ordering pizza multiple times with my husband for the past seven days, I might still be trying to sell my handcrafted piece of shit. Now, I am a wishful writer with nothing, but hey at least I am not wasting anyone’s time.

If you want to know more at Entourage please check it out at: http://www.hbo.com/entourage/about/video/entourage-hbo-first-look.html?autoplay=true

Good Bye Old New Year’s Resolutions, Hello Newbies.

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Good bye old resolutions. You can let the door kick you in the ass on your way out. It is less than 6 hours away to 2016. If you are reading this, you are more than your resolutions. Life happens. Fat happens. Shit happens. Accidents happen. Most of all, you are more than any resolution you write down on paper.

F*&^% me, of course I do believe that one must have goals, but hey like I said earlier life happens. If you lost your job, got sick, had an accident, lost a loved one then it is going to affect your ability to knock down and achieve your resolutions.

My 2015 was pretty good. I did not achieve one goal on my list. I am still over weight. I still have a shit load of student loans. I lost my job, but hell I made the best with what I got. Family, friends, passions, and humor are what made my year great. I spent my time making memories and enjoying the moment. I did not focus on the stupid list of resolutions on my refrigerator; instead, I just focused on what I did have.

If you don’t have money, life can suck and throw you down and spit in your face. I’ve been there. If you have a sense of humor, maybe a sick one, you can use that to motivate you to not let life keep you down.

Stay positive. Ask for help. Take hand ups, but do not suck the life from your resources.  Most of all focus on the one goal that has stuck in your fat stressed out head since you were little. That voice, that one in the back the one you try to hush with doubts, well, that is your passion.

You might just suck when you start doing whatever it is that you want to do; however, in time, I am talking shit loads of time, you will get better.  Don’t give up. Your passion is the spark in you that will give you that boost of mojo to get through those shitty days. I am taking about one of those days where you are on your knees wondering where the hell to go next. Again, FU resolutions and hello long term goals.