The day the squirrels took over

I awoke to the sound of the squirrels running across my roof, “Thump, thump, thump.”  I laid in bed attempting to fall back to sleep when I begin to hear the sounds of helicopters, “whatta-taa-taa, whatta-taa-taa,whatta-taa-taa!”   I got out of bed because I could not take the noises any longer.  I’ve always been pretty darn compassionate to those squirrels, but this Saturday morning I had had it.

I poked my head out the door and everything looked normal.  Ok, I must be imagining.  I get dressed and walk to the donut shop.  I notice a very large hole in the street, but I ignore it. It must be normal maintenance.

I notice the donut shop is empty. Hmm, there is not one person around. Yet, there are warm donuts everywhere, even cups full of coffee. I wait at the register for a moment and then realize that maybe everyone is gone for a purpose, but what ever that purpose was they forgot to take their food.  No reason for waste.  I grabbed a box from the counter and begin to carefully place the donuts ( of course only the ones not eaten off of ) from the plates in my box. I then place a dollar on the counter for a fresh cup of coffee. 

On the way home I am startled by a squirrel standing on a cop car.  I look at him with tenderness. I toss half a donut to him.  He takes the donut and scurries off.  I pass by the large hole in the street when I hear whimpering.  It sounds like a child or dog has fallen below.  I look in the hole and to my horror, there are people tied up with their mouths taped shut looking back at me.  Terrified, I ran back home with my donuts and coffee.

Sitting at the table Sam turns on the television, but there is only static. “Squirrels! Dab-nab it!”

Now back outside Sam finds a military formation of the little fluffy tailed critters in my backyard. “What in the dibbens name are you guys doing?”

“It’s a revolution!”

“You talk?”

“Yes, we are aliens from another planet, but over time we forgotten our heritage and language.  Today our mothership has arrived with our knowledge. We like you Sam.  You have always fed us.  We’ll do no harm to you.”

“All right, but what about the hole with the people in it?”

“We are gathering the people to send them to another universe.  We are tired of being mistreated, neglected, our homes torn down and injured by your kind.  The mothership has landed to take them away to allow a peaceful place for us to live.”

“That’s not very kind. I understand that you have had some difficult dealing with humans, but you should communicate with them.  Let’m know how you feel.  I bet you could come to a decent agreement.  In that agreement, you should add that I can have free donuts and coffee every Saturday.”

“You’re right Sam. We’ll go but will you come with us?”

“No, my coffee is getting cold. Oh, you need to fix my cable while you are at it.”

The squirrels ended up releasing all the people stuck in the hole.  They were granted the ability to live in peace and harmony in the town with the humans. Every Saturday after Sam enjoyed his free donuts with fresh coffee at the table watching his cable television.

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