Vagina’s last day out

Good morning Vagina. How’s it going?

I’m fine.

Do you know what today is?

Yeah, it’s like 20 something hours from you having that butcher stuff me back inside you like you stuff that turkey on Thanksgiving.

Wow! Aren’t you a little feisty.

Why shouldn’t I be? This whole thing is unfair.

Vagina, it’s not so bad. You’re are going back to where you came from. The surgeon is a highly qualified. You’re going to be ok. How about we make the best of today? Ok?

I guess. If we have to.

What do you want to do?

I want to take my last bubble bath. Wear some nice undergarments not those cheap smelly diapers. Shave, I would like to remove the thorn bush down there if you don’t mind.

Ok, I think those are legit demands. Hey, Vagina, I’ve got a surprise for you.

Gime!Gime! Gime!

Look Vagina.


What’s this? A castle with a flower… Are you sure you’re an artist? Gesh! This is horrible.

Come on, it’s a metaphor. I’m the castle and you’re the little red flower at the door.

Hmm, I guess. You know, I’m only red a few days of the month. I should’ve been pink. What’s up with the blue stuff and Christmas trees?

They’re not Christmas trees. They’re symbolic of the fortress that protects you from harm. The water is a moat, so when the bridge goes up…

Hey, I know what a moat is. Ha-ha-ha, you’re funny you lost your moat a long time ago.  Remember lady,  you have a kid.

Thanks Vagina. I was just trying to..

Trying to what? Make me feel good about myself. It’s just not very personal. I thought it would look more like us. A picture of you and me hangout.

Well, life’s not butterflies and rainbows. I’m doing some weird nude photo shoot of you and me in the flesh. This is it!

OK, by the way, thanks for making me a pretty flower.

You’re welcome Vagina. Now, let’s go have a bubble bath. 






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