Dear Friend,

I have been thinking about how I want to start this letter. I guess I will begin by saying thank you for always being there for me. Thanks for taking walks with me, dealing with my bickering, watching me type away on this computer day all the time and always forgiving me.

The problem is that I am a little concerned about you. I want to start 2012 in the right direction by addressing all my conflicts.

1. I think you sleep too much. I think you might sleep more than you are awake. What could you be dreaming?
2. How do you maintain your figure? Seriously, you eat cookies for breakfast and have a ginormous dinner. I have never seen you eat a veggie in your life.
3. I do not like how you beg to people. It makes you look very desperate.
4. You should learn to cover your mouth when you sneeze. Not everyone wants your germs.
5. Why do you always like to take breaks when we go for walks? Sometimes, we hardly make it down the block before you want to stop and look around. This habit is very annoying…
6. I find it odd that you always get to get to have someone else to do your hair. Come on you are no superstar.
7. You really should stop smelling everything; some things should not to be that close to your nose.
8. Learn to control your hair. It sheds everywhere. Would it trouble you to use hair gel, mouse or hairspray?
9. It is embarrassing when you have to hang your head out of the car window, even during winter.
10. It really irks me when I see you rubbing your bottom on my carpet. Can you just learn to use tissue?
11. Stop licking everything! I do mean everything. It is not very lady like.
12. Your bed is for you, not just your toys. It would be all right if you ever wanted to sleep there.

Overall, you are my best friend. I made this list to bring our relationship closer, but if you choose not to change, I will love you just as you are…my dog.