leggings

Vern and her father spent the afternoon strolling down the mall.

“Vern, what are you wearing?”

“It’s de ultimate fashion.”  She said with a fake Parisian accent.

“Vern, seriously what are you wearing?”

“Leggings”

“Are they supposed to look like that?”

“Yes, they are.”

“Are you sure you didn’t forget your pants?”

“You’re too old to understand fashion.”

“I’m a war veteran not old. I can tell the difference between pants and no pants.”

“Daddy, stop it.”

“No sweetheart you need to stop and look in the mirror.”

“Fine, let’s find one.”  She slid out of the music store and walked to the nearest department store.  Then she heard what sounded like snickering behind her. She could not make out the conversation, but it sounded as if the teenagers behind her were giggling at her.  In the department store she kicked up her stride a bit.  At last she found a dressing room.  She walked up to the long view mirror with the two mirrors on the sides.

“Daddy!”

“What?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“I did”

“You’ve could have said something at the house, the restaurant or an hour ago when we first got to the mall.”

“I didn’t have my glasses on.  At the house I was thinking about where to eat lunch. At the restaurant I was thinking about what to eat. When we first got to the mall I was thinking about where to use the bathroom. I guess I was busy thinking.”

“But my underpants are showing.”

“Well, let’s look at the bright side at least you’re wearing some.”

“Help me find something in this store to wear.”

“Why waste your money?”

“Because my bottom is showing.”

“And apparently its been showing all day, so what if it’s showing. Everyone has already seen your underpants no reason to worry about it now.”

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