Crushed on Valentine’s Day

It happens, you got crushed. Someone broke your heart. You are in school or at the office when the boy of your dreams sends flowers to another person. Then maybe you find a charge on your credit card bill for flowers for another girl from your spouse. Ouch! The truth is that shit happens. Not everyone you are attracted to is going to be attracted to you.

What if you spent Valentine’s Day alone? There you are in your best pajamas with your favorite take out meal, small chocolates (you bought for yourself) watching t.v. all night alone or with your fur baby (cat, dog, ferret, racoon, etc..) and wake up feeling empty.

What if your partner is on the road for business, deployed with the military and orders you the perfect bouquet of flowers, but they never arrive? You being to think maybe he or she is on the other side of the planet having some romantic dinner and sex romp with someone half your age or size or maybe even with different equipment (like tales from the other side).

What if you are married for double digits and your spouse comes home empty handed. Then he boast that he noticed a perfect card for you, but it was $10.99, so he decided not to waste the money.

There you are waking up the day after Valentine’s Day feeling a little f-ed up. You did it all. You sent cards to people you love, early, and with gift cards inside. You posted on friends social media, you handed out baked goods at the office, you ordered your spouse flowers or a gift they had been wanting, yet, you wake up empty.

The reality is this stuff happens. Three of these scenarios have happened to me. The one thing I have learned in my vampire years of life is that my perspective is messed up. Now, flip that situation upside down and you will feel quite differently. The cards you sent via snail mail really made those people happy. Your gift card sent was just enough money for that person to go out with friends, so they too would not be alone. Those messages posted on social media gave them a smile. That gift you bought was a surprised welcome. The flowers you did not receive arrive a day late with an extra gift, because of the oversight by the company. Those snacks you shared at work was just enough to fill up coworkers tummies so they could use their snack money on a card for the one they care about. Last, that guy you dreamed about ends up marring that girl at school or work and they grow a beautiful family.

Now, see how amazing your Valentine’s Day really was. You were a part of each and everyone’s love or social life. True, it seems really unfair that you have to feel alone or empty handed. Does this mean you are unlovable or unloved. No, that husband that passed on the holiday was busy with work, stressed out or penny pinching it. Try to be understand, but express the fact they had 364 days to plan for this one day. They could have invested in a card, saved for a gift or made you a card, gave you a massage or cooked you dinner. Not doing anything for someone you love is unacceptable, so step it up.

That guy you had a crush on at school or work, was not for you. Those flowers you got a day late are bigger bouquet than what was originally ordered.

You still feel bad? Ok then do something about it. Take today as a day to love yourself. Buy yourself a box of Valentine’s Day chocolates. Those chocolates will be half off along with those dreamy heart pajamas and super cute stuffed animals you have been eyeballing.

Maybe this blog does not help. If you just feel alone. Then do something about it. Go ask a coworker or a friend from the gym or church out for a cup of coffee. Remember whenever there is a problem in your life you are part of the solution and the problem too.

Take Care

JCV

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