“Vern something’s wrong with my pajamas!”

“What’s wrong?”

“These pajamas are too big. I can’t find my old pair.”

“Your old pair had a hole, so I bought you a new pair.”

“Why? Why’d you do this? I can’t wear these. Their huge!”

“That should be a good thing. If they were too small, that would be a problem.”

“No, no Vern. It’s a bad thing. They’re too big. Stuff is just hanging around.”

“How would you know. You haven’t tried them on.”

“Oh yes, yes I have. I did it without my boxers.”

“Daddy! That’s gross. You had your naked flesh in those pants. Now I can’t return them.”

“Yes you can. No one will know. Please take these back and get me a large.”

“Your rotten. I’ll get you new pajamas, but I’m not taking them back after you got your skin in them.”

“Then I’ll give them as a Christmas gift to one of the vets.”

“That’s terrible.””

“No that’s called thoughtfulness.”