In Louisiana some of my most treasured moments were those spent walking under the shadows of the towering trees and along side the blossoming azaleas. I miss the sweet scent and cool mist that filled the evening spring air. I miss the gently sun glowing upon me as I played in the green grass with Snow-po. Yes, during my time spent in Louisiana I did face many trails and tribulations. It was a difficult time for me. It was a time of change and challenges.
The darkest of days was after my third surgery and I sat in misery and pain on the kitchen floor praying to God to just take my lonely and miserable life. It was a very dark time. My husband traveled many days. My son left for college. My job and life title as a mom had been ripped from me as my body crippled. I struggled for some sense of being in the world where I could no longer hear or walk; instead, I was stuck to a bed. My self worth was lowered to nothing. My husband and son thrived without me as I struggled to find solace and sleep. I felt like the end was near each and every day. It was with weekly counseling that I found I had to reidentify to whom I was. I had to make peace with myself and learn to accept the new me. The me that could no longer hear car horns honk. The me that could not hear the birds sing in the morning.
My depression eased as I gained some of my hearing back with hearing aids; however, my self-worth was still bleak. I felt not needed in the world. I could make list very long list of the negative things in my life. It was infinitive. Then one day after a long sobbing prayer to God I remembered how much good still existed in the world. That was the moment I decided to start focusing on the beauty that surrounds me.
Now, I live in Texas. It is winter here, which is more like spring in Colorado. Mornings are in the 40’s and 50’s and afternoons are around 60’s; in hence, the weather is lovely. While I am not surrounded by gardens full of blooms, I have planted my own flower pots and began to create my own potted garden.
While I no longer spend my evenings strolling among cascading tress I do spend time at the dog park with Snow-po or snuggled inside looking at all the beautiful photos on Instagram.
Instagram is a true gem. It all me to enjoy all attractions from around the world. I can see everything from magical sunsets, fields of lavender, historic churches, snow topped mountains, waterfalls, beaches and much more for free. It can seem like nonsense wasting one’s time strolling through social media, but it can be very satisfying to enjoy the wonder’s of the world.
In the global world of today you can see many things; however, it is the things you focus on that make you life what it is. It also can distract us from the sadness as we move through our journey of life. It is the beauty that we surround ourselves that brings calm and joy. In this complicated world, I ask you to just stop and focus on the beauty that surrounds you.